For those of you old enough to remember cigarette machines:
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The barman gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl: "You look great tonight!" it says, "You really look fantastic and that aftershave is just wonderful!"
The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You're a total jerk! And you stink! Do you know, you're almost as ugly as your mother!"
By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation. "Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."
and did you hear about the boy who was taught to say "I want to whistle" instead of using the pee word. He slept over at Grandpa's and kept waking Grandpa up to say that he wanted to whistle. Grandpa told him that he could not whistle in the middle of the night but eventually gave in and said to the boy "ok, whistle slowly into my ear". El
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Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.
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16 comments:
And that folks is what you would call a GROANER joke.
my kids will love this one
For those of you old enough to remember cigarette machines:
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The barman gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl: "You look great tonight!" it says, "You really look fantastic and that aftershave is just wonderful!"
The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You're a total jerk! And you stink! Do you know, you're almost as ugly as your mother!"
By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation. "Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."
and did you hear about the boy who was taught to say "I want to whistle" instead of using the pee word.
He slept over at Grandpa's and kept waking Grandpa up to say that he wanted to whistle. Grandpa told him that he could not whistle in the middle of the night but eventually gave in and said to the boy "ok, whistle slowly into my ear".
El
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