Friday, August 20, 2010

Truce Offer


In a gesture of unparalleled magnanimity, Nate Maas, has today extended a public truce offer to his longtime nemesis, Paul J. McWhorter.

Earlier today, Nate released the following statement:  "I recognize that there will be some who will not understand the timing of this offer.  The other day, I received a desperate communique from a hostage inside the PJM Compound.  Mrs. PJM, had sent an urgent plea to refrain from anything that might make the already tense situation further unstable.  While negotiating with Super Villains is never my first choice, the safety and wellbeing of innocent bystanders must supersede the eternal quest for justice.  At the sake of great personal peril, I must make every attempt to extend the olive branch - even to nemeses."

Therefore I am forthwith proposing the following set of generous terms, uti possidetis.  The agreement to the same shall signal an immediate cessation of a state of hostility between belligerent parties and their allied members.

TERMS

I.  Immediately forgo any expeditions to the polar regions using any of the following untested means of transport:
       a.  wind-powered sledges
       b.  z-booms
       c.  sleds pulled by peafowl
II.  Agree that both Antartica and the North Polar Region remain terra nullius.
III.  Consider beginning any future Mystery Person Contests at an hour of the morning considerate to those in the Pacific Time Zone.
IV.  Explain just what an astrocrabpuff is and promise not to use it for nefarious purposes.
V.  Blog followers acquired during the recent unpleasantness be allowed to remain followers of respective blogs.
VI.  If both parties happen to find themselves in a future duel with Boston Cream Pies, both parties agree to aim for Roger at the last minute.
VII.  Donate any admission proceeds from above mentioned duel to purchase indoor plumbing or new dentures for Charity Grimes.
VIII.  Never again attempt to erase Nate Maas through blog polling.
IX.  Swear by the Amersfoortse Kei that any future disputes be resolved without resorting to super villainy.

As I assume the most contentious issue, of who gets to wear the hat, may be the deal breaker, we can leave that one unresolved for now.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Such generosity to the Super Villain PJM from you the Evil Nate Maas! What a great truce, maybe you should work for the UN!

Astrocrabpuff said...

Mrs. PJM had a particularly winning request!

Astrocrabpuff said...

PS: An Astro Crabpuff is a starry hors d'œuvre.

Rob From Amersfoort said...

For those few people who don’t know: The 'Amersfoortse kei’ is a large boulder, a leftover from the glacial ages, which has been pulled through the streets of Amersfoort as a kind of prank in 1661. It is now the symbol of Amersfoort, and the inhabitants are still nicknamed boulder-pullers.

p.s. condition V is a relief!

Mary said...

It's nice to think of dentures for one of newbie aliases and perhaps that could be one of your own projects rather than a condition.

Unconditional peace and kindness in our words towards each other! Although imitation is the highest form of flattery, I'm sure you have topics and formats of your own that would be equally interesting.

Peace.

Mary said...

Oops. the first half of my comment didn't make it in the transition from Safari to Firefox. Here's the whole thing:

What a relief to have a truce. I think it should be unconditional on your part. PJM's characterizatiion of you as "evil" was, I believe, in fun and came from your ability to figure out pronto who the mystery persons were. You really upped the ante when you posted a long and rambling poke in the ribs to PJM. Events got out of hand from there.

It's nice to think of dentures for one of newbie aliases and perhaps that could be one of your own projects rather than a condition.

Unconditional peace and kindness in our words towards each other! Although imitation is the highest form of flattery, I'm sure you have topics and formats of your own that would be equally interesting.

Peace.

Anonymous said...

I think Mary just doesn't get it.

PJM said...

PJM is not able to agree to article III. The world revolves around the poles, not California. Hence no assurance of adjusted start times can be promises.

PJM further requests that as a sign of good faith, Nate agrees to buy both Charity and Zarelda Grimes new corn cob pipes.

With these modifications, PJM would be willing to accept the terms of your truce.

PJM

Nate Maas said...

Considering Article III stipulated only that consideration be given, it appears as though this was accomplished. Corn cob pipes shall be on their way forthwith.

Nate Maas said...

I also agree, the world does not revolve around California. I was thinking only of the dear people of the Yukon Territory.

Potamiaena said...

A little tension and competition never hurt anyone! PJM, DON'T CAVE!! Think of how many delicious breakfasts that Nate prevented you from eating!